One thing though. He’s still totally into someone else. I’ve tried to fight my feelings because I know it’s a futile operation, but still the feeling remains.
Today was complicated. He’s been pulling away from me to “help” me. You know, less texts, phone calls, emails. He’s keeping it all business, but I keep holding on.
God just gave me this revelation though. The way I’m wanting this guy to come to his senses and realize I’m the one he wants is the same way God is desperate for me. He’s desperate for me, but my interests, just like this guy, lie elsewhere though I really love Him. I’m divided.
But how much would I BEAM if this guy turned his heart to me? So how much more would the God of the Universe radiate if I turned my heart toward Him completely?
So I’m asking God to transfer the feelings I have for this guy, this devotion I cherish, to Him.
I’m afraid though. I love that feeling of being infatuated. Or what if I’m so in love with God that I can’t love a man when the time comes? But God is like…God. He’ll expand my ability to love completely and unconditionally when it’s right. I mean, God created desire. He told me to go be fruitful and multiply so He’s definitely for my next relationship. The relationship is part of His plan for my life.
He loves me so much that He says whoever messes with me is messing with the apple of His eye (Zech. 2:8).
So I don’t have to worry about the dude who doesn’t want me. I know how the God of my heart feels about me. And how He feels about me is indescribable.